With a title like Prudish Nation, you could be forgiven for thinking that Paul Dalgarno’s latest book is a work of observation coming from a position of judgement. However, you would be wrong. In fact, it could be said that the underpinning premise of Prudish Nation is a desire for less judgement and more kindness.

Readers of Dalgarno’s earlier works may be aware from his novel Poly, and the interviews he gave when it was published, that he came to a realisation many years into his marriage that polyamory was what felt right for him. It also felt right for his wife Jess, and, ultimately, for his partner Kate, too. The process that led to this awareness has since expanded into a much broader, active curiosity about the assumptions people, and our societies, have about how human relationships should be structured and function. The result is this enquiring work which combines cultural studies and personal experience – Dalgarno’s own and those of the 30-plus people he interviewed, including Christos Tsiolkas, Dennis Altman, Andrea Goldsmith, Ellen van Neerven, Rochelle Siemienowicz, Jinghua Qian and Chris Cheers.

Relationships, sexuality, gender, identity, and how these are experienced, conceptualised and connect – or don’t – are all explored through frank personal reflections and social history, as are some of the limitations and issues people encounter when these aspects of individual existence must interact with the institutions and bureaucracy of everyday Australian life. Dalgarno explicitly addresses his privilege; he and his interview subjects are at times optimistic, resigned, and frustrated by their experiences and observations of what it is like to be in a relationship even vaguely outside the perceived ‘norm’, or when elements of their identity are contrary to others’ expectations.

This is a thoughtful book that encourages the reader to consider how and why many commonly held ideas about identity and social arrangements are inadequate, and historically inaccurate.